Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The stars in the sky...

my eyes have always looked to the stars
and my mind has always been out in the cosmos,
searching for answers to the why and how.

We will never know the why I suppose,
and only have some of the answers to the how.
But it's the curiosity that is most important.

Lately my eyes and mind have become focused
on smaller things.
And I miss daydreaming about star stuff
and the far reaches of space.

I made lots of solar systems when I was young...
out of whatever I could find.
And I dreamed of becoming an astronomer.
The depths of the ocean intrigued me too,
so for a brief time I contemplated marine biology,
and digging in the depths of the earth as a
paleontologist...
perhaps I have always like deep things.

But the stars always draw me back to them.

We are all made of star stuff.
We coalesce briefly into the beings that we are
to stand on this planet in this star system in this
universe...
to be able to observe all that surrounds us,
whether we see it or hear it or touch it,
and to wonder at it all,
before we become one with it again.

Because I could not become the
theoretical astrophysicist I wanted to be as a
college student, I let myself wander
other paths and set my love of astronomy as
a hobby in my life.
But it will always be what intrigues me the most,
what frightens me the most,
what creates the most awe and creativity in me...
so I seek my inspiration now from all
the stars in the sky...
and all that surrounds them!

Happy creating!
~stephanie~

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Vitamin D

As I was getting ready to write this post, I kept remembering a band I used to like in the 80s and could have sworn the band name was Vitamin D.

But of course it wasn't...they were Vitamin Z! :-)

Burning Flame


That was one of my favorite songs by them. The link takes you to the YouTube video for it.

So recently I was diagnosed with a major Vitamin D deficiency.
I live in Arizona, so I thought it was really strange diagnosis.
But we had a brutal (high temps) and long summer,
and I mostly spent it inside the house with the A/C on.
And I wore lotion with an SPF 15, so I guess even when I was outside with
my three dogs I wasn't soaking in the rays.

I had also limited my consumption of egg yolks and fish. Not good!

I was actually at the doctor for a yearly check-up,
but described some of my worrisome symptoms to her, so she decided to
do some blood work. Well I guess my deficiency is so bad,
I needed a prescription for 50,000 IU a week for at least 8 weeks.
I started my first dose this past Tuesday.

I've learned from my tweets on Twitter and some status update comments
on Facebook that I'm not alone in this deficiency and
of course there is an article on vitamin D in the latest Oprah magazine.
I have the magazine but didn't read the article.

Seems like odd timing (coincidence) with all media coverage,
but I'm glad I found out what was causing
my symptoms so I could start treatment.
At least I hope this deficiency was what was causing my symptoms,
and I hope that starting the treatment now and continuing
it as instructed by my doctor will get my health back on track.

My symptoms were/are chronic fatigue, muscle weakness,
joint and muscle pain, and depression.
I should say more frequent depression.
I've battled anxiety and depression for about 18 years,
but I mostly had them under control and could function among people.
However, the chronic depression I was falling into, led to episodes of anxiety,
which of course added to the other symptoms,
had me worried about going out of the house anywhere on my own.

So I basically stayed home and thanks to Twitter and Facebook and the creating for my
online shops, I was interacting with the world, and putting on a good face.
I knew I was lucky to have what health I did and also lucky enough
that when I wasn't feeling well, I had the luxury to stay home and
work, rather than having to go outside of the house to a job.

I had my really good days, but those were usually followed by days
when I'd feel like I had the flu or a cold or a major allergy attack,
and all my energy would be zapped.
I'd have my good moments, but then I'd feel like
I just couldn't make a certain muscle move the way it should, and
then I would get frustrated and worried that I wouldn't be able
to function the way I needed to.

I'm not seeing any marked improvement three days into my first mega dose
of the vitamin. In actuality I feel a bit worse. Lots and lots of joint pain.
But I hope it's a case of feeling worse in order to feel better
and that I have not permanently damaged my health with this deficiency.

It seemed to me the symptoms had worsened within the last couple of months, so hopefully
the symptoms can be reversed in that same amount of time.
I know this is overly optimistic and unrealistic, but all we have is hope.

I'm taking in more sun when I'm out with my dogs...no SPF lotion,
so I hope that helps also.

Because of how I've been feeling lately...which is easy enough
to mask with my online communication...
I haven't really known where my business was going
or been focused on the future of it. I have had no desire to sign up for
craft shows and have concentrated mostly on doll jewelry since
I've had a very nice customer who frequently requests custom doll jewelry sets.

And speaking of fatigue. I should be asleep now. So off I go.

Tomorrow our dog Mocha has to go in for some simple surgery to remove a couple of growths, but the surgery is minor and she will go in early in the morning and we'll pick her up in the evening. I'll be glad to have the distraction of working on crafts tomorrow! And hopefully will
feel well enough to work long and hard and get some exciting new things in the shops
and stop feeling sorry for myself. ;-)

So that's been life lately.

Thanks for reading!

Happy creating!
~stephanie~



Saturday, October 2, 2010

Hurry, hurry...and slow down!

I have been creating a lot of doll jewelry lately.
Most of it custom requests.
Which is lovely!
Except for when I have to search through thousands of beads...
some very tiny...to find just what I want/need for a
design! ;-)

So at some point I'd like to do a major bead organization...
but I am too busy for this.

Yet I feel like I could be busier and more efficiently productive if I took the time
to do this organization.

So this makes me feel like I should hurry, hurry through my
creating (which, as we all know is good in theory and difficult in practice)
and slow down in order to spend the necessary time to organize the beads!

So one day I will hurry, hurry...and slow down for the project! ;-)

Did any of that make sense? lol

Happy creating!
~stephanie~